on becoming a momma.

i truly did not expect it to be this hard. on top of the baby blues, the lack of sleep, and feeling like i never hold a happy baby, i think i've pinpointed that it's the identity change that is the most difficult. it's already funny to think that just a few weeks ago i hopped in my car alone and drove to fredericksburg for an afternoon of doing what i wanted when i wanted and how i wanted. vera is not even 2 weeks old yet and i'm coping with the fact that life really is going to look a lot different. i thought i could hop right back into life as i knew it and do the things i used to, with her as my little tagalong. not so much. and to be honest, i'm waiting for that moment when the joy of motherhood settles in. i'm not there yet.

it has been amazing to watch my husband become a father. he was so helpful and loving during our time in the hospital. i could really sense his concern for me through labor and it was one of my all time highlights in life to see him fall in love with his little girl. he loved her instantly and for some reason i expected otherwise. i thought it would take him awhile to get used to handling a fragile, squirmy body or to figure out the diaper changing process. he has been amazing. it has most certainly increased my love for him. he's truly wonderful.

chris's parents welcomed us home from the hospital and were super helpful to stay at our house and watch marlow while we were gone. then my parents and brother flew into town and stayed for five days. it was really a treat having them here, although i know they did not get the best of me since i've been so tired. we ventured out a few times and did some fun things in austin; ate at the oasis, walked around at mount bonnell, took marlow to red bud, ate at rudy's, and played our new favorite board game. we already miss them and wish they lived closer!