On a Brisk Night in October

Life (a.k.a. my busyness) just isn't getting any better. And I was thinking yesterday how our lives are so short here on Earth. Really, when you think about it, we are here today and gone tomorrow. It's silly when I put it in that perspective because I wonder, "what am I doing to myself?" I have absolutely no down time. I'm constantly running from one committment to the next. I feel like I've jumped into some things that just weren't intended for me, but I can't back out. I want to be responsible and follow-through with committments and jobs and relationships, but I'm getting so worn out. My nights feel like I close my eyes and open them 10 minutes later. I woke up this morning (4:45am) and just started crying because I was so tired and knew that I had a long day ahead of me. But even as I am writing this, I am convicted once again for not seeking complete and utter satisfaction in Christ. I have been praying for contentment and specifically that He would be my Prince of Peace. I have not sought happiness from my days lately. I have been fatigued and have been recovering from strep throat and have simply been exhausted from life. I confess that I have been really selfish in not seeking Christ alone. He is IT. He is the only thing that matters and He will be the only thing that will ever give me joy and rest, even when I'm not physically rested. He loves me deeply and wants me to be in relationship with Him. I've missed that. I can honestly say that I haven't had any quality time with Him in quite awhile now. And my personality is affected because of it. What rambling I'm doing...

On a brighter note, I had Monday off from school and Chris and I took it off from work. We went to Enchanted Rock State Park and hiked to our heart's content. It was definitely the most fun day I've had in Texas since we moved here. It was the first day I started feeling better after having been sick, the weather was great, and I was with the one whom my heart loves. It is beautiful out there. We got sunburned and skinned some knees and bit by fire ants...and I got stuck on top of a huge boulder for a bit...but we had so much fun together. We drove through Fredericksburg on the way back. Chris had never been there before. It's an old German town with lots of cute street shops. We went to a Chocolatier. That was really interesting to me since I studied chocolate art and the making of it in my P&B class. I got to watch the process in the store, then we bought 2 each and savored the flavor on the front bench outside the store.

(Sidenote: I lost my cell phone, in case any of you have tried to contact me. I am continuing to check my messages, but won't be able to call you back most likely since I don't know your number by heart. Call Chris if there's an emergency or you can email me.)

The last thing I'd like to express tonight is still how lonely we are down here. We keep on praying for some close friends, but it's just not happening yet. And we're here for a good amount of time, we believe. Chris has found a seminary campus he can commute to when that time comes, so that will keep us in Austin indefinitely. We love Austin, but we miss our families and our friends so much. I've tried to really let people know how much we are in need of community, but we don't feel like there's genuine interest in us (This isn't true of all parties!). Please pray for that.

I feel extra pessimistic tonight. Disregard my crazytalk. I love you all. I wish I knew if anyone looked at our blog. :)