no more grandmas.

reading the recent posts of PW about her "Ga-Ga" has made me think. actually, i've been thinking for awhile now. it's been on my mind. and believe it or not, not all of what is in my mind actually makes it onto this blog. there are times that my filter does indeed work. there are also times that my thoughts don't need to be on this blog. but there are also times when this blog helps me process.

anyhoo. i've been thinking about my grandmas lately.

grandma #1: agnes irene

i suppose she's grandma #1 because she was the elder of the two. she lived to be 100 years old and passed away a little over a year ago. my memories of her range from her mad pie making skills to her joyful chuckle to me playing with her underarm flab. she was a lovely lady. it will make me sad one day when her house is sold because it holds so many memories. like the bird wallpaper in the bathroom. or the cherry wallpaper in the kitchen. and both cuckoo clocks...i had a love-hate relationship with them. i used to like to clean up from dinner with her. (perhaps a foreshadowing of when my enjoyment of domestic duties began?) she'd wash and i'd dry with those white dish drying cloths. we never used them at home so i think that's why i thought it was fun to dry and put away dishes. there were antique dolls in her attic, too. and tons of old national geographic magazines. my grandpa collected those. some of that fake green turf on the patio outback. she used to put money in books in their house. i remember finding a hundred dollar bill once. and i used to love looking through her jewelry. especially her earrings. i always wanted my ears to be pierced and when they finally were at age 12, i'd try on her earrings then put them back in their designated spot in her drawer. i remember holding my grandma's hands. they were big like mine. big knuckles. big palms. she had pretty rings and pretty fingernails. i used to pluck her chin hairs for her. oh the bonding!

grandma #2: mary elizabeth

she passed away six weeks ago on january 7th. she would have turned 83 years old this april. her body was tired and it was her time to go. and though it was a good thing in many ways, i'm finding myself missing her tonight. no proper good-bye. i saw her at thanksgiving but that day was so rushed (especially having a new baby) and busy seeing so many people. i could kick myself for not slowing down enough to really talk to her. to hug her. i loved her smile. she was a great listener and made you feel good about yourself. her skin was gorgeous. i complimented her one time on it and she seemed to be proud as she responded, "soap and water." i liked her laugh. it was quiet but joyful. i liked her skirts. i don't think i ever saw her wear pants. and i wish you could see the way she did her hair. she'd braid it into pigtails, then bobby pin them on top of her head. i spent the night at her house once when i was little and remember seeing her do her hair. i think that memory stands out in my mind so much because that was the one and only time i saw her with long hair. i kind of didn't realize she had long hair. i also remember seeing her kill baby mice with the heel of her foot. i was traumatized. in the back of her house, she found mice and although "cute" (as much as rodents can be) as babies, she killed them knowing that they'd grow up to be not so cute. she also used to go to my volleyball games. and she helped move me to college.

i missed both of their funerals. but mostly, i missed getting to know them both better. i missed out on many conversations that could have taken place if i would have made the initiative. they were both lovely, Godly women who stood by their husbands through thick and thin. and great mothers. they loved fiercely and have left a lasting memory in my heart.