Those Fingers

Favorite Top 5 Food Blogs

Yesterday I mentioned that I follow 37 food blogs.  From the comments, (Imaginary, that is.  I like to make believe that my readers communicate to me every now and then on here...ahem.) I read that several of you were interested in knowing what some of those blogs are.  Thus my post for today:  my favorite top five food blogs that I follow.

Eat, Live, Run - Jenna is a Christian (like me) and an alum of Le Cordon Bleu (like me), she enjoys running, and she just turned 26.  Okay, so I'm a year older, but other than that we're pretty much the same person.

Smitten Kitchen - I love, love, love that this lady has conquered the challenge of cooking out of a small home kitchen, like myself.  She's got one counter space and an oven.  We also have kids the same age.  And I have to mention her mad photography skills.  Eye candy.

Joy the Baker - Joy's also a Christian and likes to drink the Bourbon.  Can I be your friend, Joy?  I love her quirky sense of humor and her wittiness.  I've just recently started following her podcast.

Bitchin' Camero - She uses whole grains, lots of vegetables, and confesses to hitting up 3+ markets a day.  That was me in my pre-kid life, so I totally get it.

A Cozy Kitchen - This blog is the collaborated effort of two self-taught gals.  They post often, which I like because I'm kind of a stalker.

So check 'em out and let me know what you think.  Or else I'll imaginate our conversation.  :)

2 Days Down

It's been 2 whole days of no sweets and I'll be honest, I'm feeling the pain.  I've heard it said that it takes 2 weeks to rid your system of craving sugar but I'm hoping it's less than that.  One of Chris's Father's Day gifts was a 3 pound bag of gummy bears, so that's not much help in the temptation department.  I've found myself grabbing handfuls of dried cranberries or almonds throughout the day to satisfy my snack attack.  It also doesn't help that I follow 37 food blogs that post almost daily.  And this certainly doesn't help either.  When you want to detox from your sugar intake, what's your strategy?  Cold turkey or do you somehow wean yourself?  I'm finding drinking lots of water helps, too.  And chewing gum.

Currently Snacking On...

In an effort to lose this last bit of baby weight (ha!), I made chipper sandwiches today.  Leftover chocolate chip cookies that I didn't want to eat right away, so I softened some vanilla bean ice cream and put a few scoopfuls inside and sandwiched them together.  Now they are individually frozen to eat another day.....right??

There's 5 gallons of boob milk in my freezer and it needs a home.

I know this makes me a complete weirdo, and some of you might altogether stop following my blog after this, but I am excited that I'm officially a milk donor!  Maybe I'll never donate an organ, but at least I can donate this excess milk supply that I've got.  The best part is that it goes to benefit fragile and premature babies in Austin--that is something I can definitely get behind.  I also have a friend who is adopting and awaiting her baby.  It would give me so much joy to be able to help provide some milk for that precious one, too.  I figure if I've got enough to share, I might as well.  I remember hearing on the news that breastfeeding Red Cross volunteers were serving orphans in Haiti by nursing them after the earthquake.  Oh my gosh, I could totally do that.  To look into the eyes of sweet little babies who need nourishment and to be able to provide that for them?  Absolutely!

Moby Wrap Fun

Vera cracked me up today.  She is such a little observer and often times I don't even notice until she imitates something she's seen me do.  I borrowed a Moby Wrap and often wear it around the house with Lydia inside.  I love her snuggled up to me and it's pretty easy to clean, cook, and get things done with her in it.  Vera was playing with it this afternoon and I had the brilliant idea to stick her 22 lbs. inside.  What a little monkey she is.  She looks so dang big and I love the scowl on her face.

After wanting out, I soon realized that she really wanted to wear it herself carrying her baby.  Of course!  So I wind the fabric around her and tuck it in to fit her.  She LOVES having baby in the wrap and thinks it's so neat to look like mommy.

It amazes me how natural it is for this little girl to be so motherly and nurturing.  Chris really scored buying her her first baby doll.  She's obsessed and baby has to be swaddled all the time with the pacifier in her mouth.

She brings me so much joy. 

Currently Snacking On...

I haven't been able to get enough of these lately.  I eat them for breakfast, lunch, and snack time.  They are also great for a sweet fix when you're trying to curb your sugar intake in the evenings.  I'm a huge fan of Greek yogurt and usually just add honey or agave nectar, but I love the convenience of the fruit being included, too.  What are you snacking on lately?

Baking With A Toddler

In culinary school, I learned the French term "mise en place," which roughly translated simply means "everything in it's place."  Prepping all ingredients before you start is setting everything in it's place.  When baking, this just means having each item measured and portioned in their own little bowls.  I've learned that this is essential when baking with a toddler.

I like doing it this way because I don't have to worry about following a recipe.  For a simple drop cookie recipe, which we were making here, I know that the wet and dry ingredients are combined separately before added together.  Having everything portioned ahead of time makes it easy for a little person to help.  You just have them dump, stir, and taste.

She's Got More Shoes Than Me!

 24 pairs.  That's a lot for a 19 month old little girl.  People like to buy her shoes.  I agree, they are pretty cute, but she didn't even walk until she was 13 months.  Good thing we have another little girl who will be able to use them, too.

Currently Snacking On...

My Drug of Choice

Man, it feels good to be running again.  I seriously feel high after a run, thanks to dopamine.  I took a week off after birthing a child and was back at it again with little discomfort.  I took it slow at first because my core muscles were still loosey goosey, but after a month of easing into it, I'm back to my 9:30 miles and loving it.

I took a lot of flack from people throughout my pregnancy because I kept up the running, but I felt confident that I was doing the right thing.  I did tons of research, talked to my doctor, and listened to my body.  Up until 8 months pregnant I was consistently running 6-9 miles at a time, usually around 15 miles a week.  I did my last race (10k) at 31 weeks pregnant and after that my motivation dropped off.  I kept running, but only about 3 miles at a time, and at a much slower pace.  I wasn't truly uncomfortable until about 37 weeks.  It was mostly my bladder that made running difficult because I felt I needed to pee every 10 minutes, but knowing they were mostly "false alarms," I'd push through and finish my runs.  My pace continued to slow, but I continued to run.  Well, at around 40 weeks it became more like jog since I was doing 12 minute miles.  My goal was to continue cardio work-outs as long as possible.  I had tried the elliptical at the gym and biking, but no other activity seemed to get my heart rate up and make me sweat as much as I wanted.  On my due date I ran 4 miles.  At almost 42 weeks I ran/walked 2 miles.

I had about 10 hours of false labor throughout the night.  Chris didn't go into work the next day.  Though we were sleep deprived, we were anxious to get labor going again, so to speed up the contractions, we ran/walked 3 miles together.  Crazy, huh?  The funny thing is that it didn't work.  My contractions ceased completely.

I feel that keeping up the running had everything to do with having a healthy pregnancy, not gaining much weight, and having a quick labor.  The best part is that I had a healthy baby!

Now that I am back at it, I am once again really enjoying running.  I've been a runner for a year and a half now and am slowly accepting this as the new me.  For the longest time I felt like I was wearing a mask and that it was a lifestyle that wasn't genuine and wouldn't last long.  I didn't really believe that I could become an active, healthy person all of the sudden in my mid-20s.  Well, I am here to say that it is possible and I love it.

I'm not sure what my goals are for the remainder of the year.  I'd love to do another half marathon, but with two kids, training is even harder.  Figuring out time for long runs in between feeding Lydia is the challenge.  I had wanted to do the Danskin Sprint Triathlon.  I almost signed up, but it was too expensive and it wouldn't have been worth the money to me since I wouldn't have had sufficient time to train for the bike and swim.  For now, I'm enjoying the alone time listening to music and zoning out from mommyhood.

Fond of Blonde

 I have this bakebook and let me tell you, it's a vault of goodness.  Everything I've made from it is completely delicious.  Including this blondie.  I've always been a fan of blondies.  It brings me back to college when I'd go to Applebee's with my friends.  For dessert, I'd always order the blondie with ice cream and maple caramel sauce.  So-rich-you-need-a-glass-of-milk-to-wash-it-down kind of good.  I had a hankerin for a blondie and since living in Austin, I can't tell you the last time I went to a chain restaurant.  Which is fine by me.  Except for missing out on that blondie at Applebee's.  Thank goodness for this recipe.

Blondies

The Hummingbird Bakery

5 oz white chocolate, roughly chopped

1 stick unsalted butter

3/4 cup sugar
2 eggs

1 1/2 tsp pure vanilla extract

1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
Pinch salt

1 cup shelled pecans, chopped
9x13 inch baking pan lined with parchment paper

Preheat oven to 325 F.
In a heatproof bowl over a saucepan of simmering water, place chocolate and butter (do not let the base of the bowl touch the water). Leave until melted and smooth.
Remove from heat. Add sugar and stir until well incorporated. Add eggs and vanilla, stirring briskly so that you don’t allow the eggs to scramble. Don’t worry if the mixture looks as if it is starting to split. Add flour, salt and pecans and stir until well combined and the nuts are evenly dispersed.
Spoon mixture into prepared baking pan and bake in preheated oven for 35 to 40 minutes or until golden brown and the centre is still soft. Let cool completely.
Makes 12 to 15 portions.

Currently Snacking On...

These Are the Moments

On my wedding day, I remember someone giving me the advice to take mental pictures throughout the day so as to better remember the small things.  One in particular that I remember is of me and my maid of honor riding in her car with the sunroof open.  We had just gotten our hair done at the salon, my veil was pinned in place, and our heads were out the window.  We passed by a fire truck and they honked at us.  That memory makes me remember how happy I was to be getting married, how beautiful I felt, and how excited I was to move and start life with my husband.

I've been telling myself lately to take more mental pictures.  There's nothing like having babies to show you how fast time flies.  Yesterday the mental picture I took was of my sweet little Vera staring at me while I did my hair in the bathroom mirror.  I slowed down enough to take note of how intently she was watching me.  She was genuinely interested in what I was doing and just wanted to be near me.  How precious she is.  How loved I felt.

Slow down.  Be present in life.  Don't let life pass you by.

These have been my mantras lately to remind myself of what's important.  I have told several people that the transition for us going from 1 to 2 kids has been much easier than going from 0 to 1.  I think it's because in the beginning I had tried to fit Vera into my pre-baby lifestyle; running around, going from place to place, checking off my to do list, keeping a perfectly clean home all the time, cooking ambitious meals, etc.  About 8 or 9 months in, my epiphany was that in order to be a calmer, happier person, I needed to make some changes.  So, I simplified life.  I am one of those moms who stays at home more than she goes out.  We go on a lot of walks.  We go to the park, to the library, and we play a lot in the backyard.  And there are days that we do run errands, but most of the time, we are home.  And I like it that way.  It has made me slow down in life and I'm taking more mental pictures because one day my babies will be grown up and I want to savor the sweet times we're having.

When both girls are in the backseat screaming their heads off...these are the moments.

When Vera is giggling from being tickled by her daddy...these are the moments.

When it's just me and Lydia up in the middle of the night and she sweetly coos and makes all those cute newborn noises...these are the moments.

When applesauce hits the wall and spaghetti is on the carpet...these are the moments.

She's Pretty Awesome.

I just need to brag.  We have been fortunate to receive meals from many friends who have stepped up to the plate to help us out after baby # 2 entered the scene.  We are really feeling the love, the extra cushion in our budget, and the break from cooking.  Thanks to everyone who has signed up!

But there is this one amazing friend that just blows everyone else out of the water.  A delicious dinner was delivered to our door tonight with a personal note from her.  Get this.  She freakin lives in Germany.  How amazing is that?  She went the extra mile (thousands, actually...and a time change in there, too) to figure out how to get us dinner.  And I have no idea how the typed up note from her was included in that, too, but I'm completely impressed and feeling super loved.

I think we can all learn a lesson from her about generosity.  I make up too many excuses sometimes because it's not convenient or easy to give, but really that's uber lame.  (Like my usage of German vocab there??)

Thank you, Sara!

Life Feels More Right

To sum up the arrival of our second daughter:  We are in love.  In so many ways, Lydia is similar to Vera.  In other ways, they are very different.  As much as we absolutely adore our Vera, life just feels more right now that Lydia is here.  We are on the way to completing our family someday and having two kiddos feels more 'right.'

I feel like I am experiencing what normal moms feel with their newborns; instant love, bonding, and wanting to be near their babies all the time.  I don't mind being up with her at night.  I don't mind nursing this time around.  I don't mind the cries or the endless dirty laundry or the added responsibilities of another child.  I am so thankful for another daughter and think it will be so fun raising sisters.

Vera is adjusting to her new role and the first thing she says when she wakes up is "baby."  I think she understands that Lydia isn't going anywhere and that she's here to stay.  Sometimes Vera is super sweet and wants to hold the baby and give her hugs and kisses and pat her gently.  Other times she wants to push her off my lap.  The back and forthness of this new learning curve might take awhile, but I believe she will really love her new little sibling eventually.

Chris is home this week and we are soaking up the family time.  If I could have him around all the time I would be a happy woman.  I love him and love when he's near.  He is so confident looking with his two girls.  Which is hot.  My husband is hot.  He's such a good daddy and he takes care of us so well.

All in all, it's been a really good almost-week with our new addition.  Granted, I know that it will get more challenging once I am home alone with my girls and Marlow, but I am feeling optimistic.  And very blessed.

More Than a Mom

After reading this article, written by one of my favorite local bloggers, I began to think about what makes me me.  What I mean by this is that since my days are filled to the max with diaper changing, refilling of cups, wiping a snotty nose countless times, and breathing deeply through tantrums, I wanted to sit and write down a list of things about myself that have nothing to do with my tasks of motherhood.

I love to sing.

I love to run.

I love to cook/bake.

I love entertaining, having people over, and putting pretty napkins on the table.

I love having time to write snail mail.

I really love my dog.

I love alone time in a coffee shop, observing people or reading.

My shoe size is 9.  My feet stopped growing in 6th grade.

I typically go for sweet over salty.

My husband proposed to me over Thai food.

I own a lot of black clothing.

2011 has been the first year we have consistently stayed in budget every week.

We once lost our dog for a week, then found him again.

I have several permanent scars on my wrists from pulling things out of the oven.

My facial soap always smells like garlic.

If there weren't other big matters to get involved with in life, I could easily be an animal activist.

My favorite class in college was a sociology class about race, class, and religion.

I haven't read very many books this year.

Sometimes I still scribble my maiden name because it looks pretty in cursive.

While being a mom is of utmost importance, I think it's equally as important to continue being Carey and to reconnect with things I enjoy.  Perhaps that sounds self-centered to you.  It sounds heavenly to me.

Currently Snacking On...

She's Growing Up.

 My little big girl is 17 months old now.  She's friendly, animated, dramatic, opinionated, and sweet.  She eats about 5 clementines a day and blows her nose on everything.  Her "hi" is two syllables and she loves to give hugs to animals.  She's still a great eater and loves her sleep.  Her feet must have gone through a growth spurt because I bought her new shoes about a month ago and almost none of them fit now.  She can't stand anything in her hair and will yank it out about 5 seconds after it's in.  She is happiest outside where she has free reign to be her own boss.  She eats dirt like nobody's business and has recently required that she help me "make her bed" every morning by helping me fold her blanket.  She loves having a project, her best bud is "Marmo," and she loves a long wagon ride around the neighborhood.  I feel pretty stinkin blessed that I get to hang out with her everyday.

What's in a Name?

We've selected nomenclature for our next offspring.  Here's the thought process behind it all.

Lydia

We've always liked the name.  To us, it sounds timeless, feminine, classic, and sweet.  We have one friend by this name (we love her), and although it's not after her, she is the only one we've known.  Lydia is a Biblical name, and although we are not ones to choose necessarily on that basis, it is always interesting to research the story of the person that God wanted mentioned in His Word.  Not much is mentioned about her, but what we do know is taken from the short passage out of Acts 16:6-40.  Here's what I've gathered about this woman from reading.

She seemed strong and competent, warm, open-hearted, and caring.  She seemed to have her priorities straight with prayer, worship, and keeping God first in a busy life.  She managed a thriving business, maintained a home, and offered her home to a crowd of strangers.

She believed in and was a worshiper of God, but something hadn't clicked yet and her heart had not been fully open to God.  After praying with Paul, she experienced the joy of brand new faith and would never be the same.

As a result, she and her entire house came to know the Lord and she opened her house to the ministry of Christ.  She became a servant, tending to the needs of the missionaries.

I pray all these characteristics for my daughter.

Ruth

Another Biblical name.  To us, it sounds strong and assertive, and will serve as a reminder and testament of where God had us in our marriage during the months expecting our second daughter.

"Let me go where you go.  Your people will be my people and your God will be my God."  -Ruth 1:16

This is probably one of the most well-known verses from the book of Ruth.  It was the charge given to us at our wedding and I still remember hearing it and standing beside my husband-to-be.  If you go and read the story from the book of Ruth, loyalty is a theme that is prevalent.

Chris and I have journeyed through hard times in our marriage and I continue to look at the verse above and remind myself of the promise we made to each other and to God.  Regardless of the circumstances, loyalty is something I choose.  I will go where he goes and will stick by his side.

So, Lydia Ruth it is.

More Fun: The Play by Play

Our 24 hours together was wonderful.  As expected, when I got home from dropping off Vera, Chris was home from work.  We both changed into our running gear and took off for our runs around the neighborhood.  (We run separately at this point since I am so slow.  And by slow, I mean that it's like I wave cars to go ahead when they are stopped at a stop sign for me because it would take much longer for me to cross in front of them instead of them just going.)  We made a huge salad for lunch and ate out in our patio.  What a beautiful day it was again.  One thing I have realized is that I rarely sit down for a meal, minus dinner.  I typically am a grazer and eat throughout the day.  I will snack on whatever Vera is snacking on and eat when she eats, but it is rare to sit down with a plate and take time to eat.  I miss that.  Eating yesterday made me slow down and enjoy meal times again.  There was no reason for snacking when I was able to eat balanced meals.  It felt good to be hungry and look forward to dinner.

After lunch, we put our swimsuits on and headed over to the pool.  We stayed a couple of hours, laying out, getting in the water, and reading our books.  For some reason, just laying still and being quiet really forces you to slow down and relax.  It was a perfect way to begin our time together.  After pool time, we went home to get Marlow, then headed to the Greenbelt for what is our all-time favorite past time.  We love to hike, but we especially love hiking with our dog.  Unfortunately there is no water in the Greenbelt right now, but it was still so fun hiking in the ravines and up and out of the cliffs.  After we were good and sweaty and when we knew Marlow needed some water, we came home, cleaned up and headed out for dinner at a local sports bar to watch Purdue in the tournament.  We shared a meal and got to cheer on our Boilermakers.  After dinner, we treated ourselves to a movie (second movie at a theater within a month--a record for us!), then headed home for an early bedtime.  Isn't that funny?  We both thought we'd want to be out on the town late, but with the crowds in town for SXSW, we didn't want to venture downtown and have to pay for parking, etc., so we just went home and got to catch a few hours of extra sleep.

Today we woke up, had breakfast, then went to Town Lake for our runs.  We brought Marlow, too, and he enjoyed getting his swim on.  We stopped by the Farmer's Market on the way home and just walked around.  I don't go as often as I used to, and especially now that we are strict with our budget, but it's still fun to see what is in season and who the new vendors are.  Afterward, we headed home to wait for the girls.  Our friends dropped off Vera and their daughter, whom we are babysitting for the day.  They are perfect playmates and now the parents get a date, too.

Oh Happy Day!

I had two separate friends approach me recently about keeping Vera.  They knew that with the nearby arrival of our second, that we would appreciate some time together.

Yesterday my friend kept Vera from 10am until 8pm!!  She picked her up and dropped her back off bathed, fed, and in her pjs.  I didn't sleep well the night before because I was so excited to have a day off from being a mom.  Maybe that sounds bad, but I hadn't realized how overdue I was for a break.  It was nothing short of glorious.  I told Chris that I knew I would miss her but that I would let her go with joy.  How often does someone offer to babysit all day, no questions asked?  Seriously, I felt so blessed.  Here's the play by play of how I spent my time.

Body Pump

met up with a friend for coffee

came home, made lunch, ate out in the patio, journaled

took an hour long hike with Marlow

layed out at a pool for over an hour, read my book, got in the water

went to dinner with my hubs

came home, played a game

I once had someone keep Vera for about 5 hours and it was right before her birthday, so I spent my time crazily driving from place to place and going in and out of stores getting things for her party.  It was exhausting and miserable, in my opinion.  I told myself I wouldn't waste my time like that again.  It was so nice to not have an agenda, to not go into any store, to have alone time, and to live at my own pace.  I cannot tell you how healthy it was for me.  I feel like I lived.  I remembered that I like myself.  I'd forgotten how much I loved to just sit and read God's Word.  I found that if I can be active, outside, and with Marlow all day long, I am blissful.  Chris commented how nice it was to come home to a happy wife.  Sadly, it's true that I don't remember the last time I really laughed. It's not at all that I dislike my life as a stay at home mom.  I feel completely blessed in being able to raise my daughter.  It's just that when there's no relief from the wonderful yet exhausting ride of motherhood, it can grate on you.  I felt no guilt in allowing someone else to hang out with her yesterday.  And from several texts and pictures throughout the day, the consensus was "dang, I love your girl."  What a compliment.

But that's not all.

Wait for it.

It just so happens that it worked out for today to be the day when friend # 2 would offer to keep Vera OVERNIGHT.  Holy Moly...seriously?  Um, yes please.  Of course, I'm holding on a little tighter and giving extra hugs and kisses this morning, but when I drop her off around lunch time, Chris will be home since he is taking a half day, and I'll get to have 24 hours of uninterrupted time with my husband.  That is rare and I am so thankful for friends who step up to offer this kind of love and service to us.  It means so much, especially not having family who live nearby.  I'm sure I'll give you a play by play of what we end up doing.  :)

You'll Need a Fork For This One

Marshmallowy, peanut buttery, chocolate yumminess. Enough said, right? These are super tasty but super sweet. You'll have to brush the fuzzy socks off your teeth, if you know what I mean. And you'll definitely need a fork to eat these. It's basically a white cake recipe, pipe in some marshmallow cream, and whip up the most divine creamy peanut butter frosting. The frosting is really where it's at.

Vanilla Cupcakes
2 cups all purpose flour
1 1/2 cups sugar
2 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
1 teaspoon kosher salt
1/2 cup very soft butter
2 large eggs, at room temperature
3/4 cup whole milk
1 Tablespoon vanilla extract

Filling
Marshmallow Cream

Peanut Butter Frosting
1 cup powdered sugar, sifted
7 Tablespoons unsalted butter, softed
1 cup creamy peanut butter

1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1/3 cup heavy whipping cream

Vanilla Cupcakes:

Whisk together your dry ingredients in a large bowl (flour through salt) and set aside.

Mix together softened butter with the eggs, milk and vanilla extract.
Slowly add in your dry ingredients and fold together.

Line a cupcake pan with cupcake liners and fill 2/3 way full.

Bake at 350 degrees for about 20 minutes or until a knife inserted into the cupcake comes out clean.

Cool completely on a wire rack.

To fill the cupcakes:

Fill piping bag with marshmallow cream and pipe into the center of each cupcake.

Peanut Butter Frosting:

Sift powdered sugar into a bowl.

In separate bowl, mix together the butter, peanut butter and vanilla extract.

Then slowly add in the powdered sugar. Mix to combine.

Pour in the heavy whipping cream and mix until well combined and light and fluffy.

To decorate the cupcakes:

Frost your cakes and decorate how you choose.

Feelings Flashcards

I bought these at GaGa, one of my favorite baby boutiques in Austin, but you can buy them on Amazon, too, for a little cheaper.  I just love them.  The first night I had them I read each card to Vera like a book, pointing to the facial expressions and imitating them myself.  What I like about them is that they are hard and cannot be bent.  I also like that opposites share a card.  For example, 'calm' will be on one side and 'nervous' will be on the other.

There are 20 total cards, so 40 different feelings.  What a great way for kids to share and learn about their emotions.

Searching for Mrs. Right.

I have been trying to sort through some thoughts lately regarding friendships in my life.  Growing up, God answered I'm sure what were the many prayers of my parents and blessed me with amazing friends.  In college, I had wonderful friends again.  Though we rarely keep in touch, I know that I am just as special to them as they are to me.  Now in the phase of married life, I'm realizing that friendships as an adult look differently.  I'm not sure I can pinpoint the reason why, but for whatever reason, deep, close friendships are hard for me to find.  I will not discount at all the ones God has given me, but as ungrateful as this sounds, I feel like I am always looking for something more.

In my head, I tend to put people in categories.

* If  they are moving or will move or have ever mentioned the thought of wanting to move, I distance myself.  I think this is because I don't want to unload, get real, invest, share dirt, and then have that friendship be no different than so many others to where we lose contact.  I'm sure a lot of it is due to insecurities, but ultimately it hurts to share your life with someone and for it to go nowhere.

* If they already have a close community of friends in their life, I assume that I'm not needed.  I want to have a best friend and be someone's best friend.  Reciprocation is important to me.

* Then there are those people that I just don't click with.  It's frustrating because I see only good things in the other person, but whether it is due to different personalities, interests, etc., these relationships don't have deep roots and are short term.

For me, motherhood has felt very isolating.  I've mentioned that before.  I often find myself riding the roller coaster of depression, which can be exhausting.  I have so much to be grateful for, and I am.  Most of all, I am thankful for my God who continues to guide me and love me and show His power in my life.  I am also so grateful for a husband who will always be my BFF.  Where ever we go in life, it is comforting to know that I have both of them by my side.

Been listening to this a lot lately.

Room to Play

We finally finished the playroom.  What was once an office with huge furniture has become a space for kids and I'm so glad we did it.  I feel like we gained a whole room in our house.  We chose a new wall color, got new window treatments (using the old roman shades in the girls' new room), made an office closet, and bought 2 pieces of Ikea furniture.  Everything else we already owned.   Vera has really enjoyed having a playroom and I have really enjoyed the organization of her toys as well as this being pretty much the only room that gets messy during the day.  It is so much more manageable to pick up this room up every night rather than the whole house.  We also like that we can shut the door to the closet (the folding chair fits perfectly inside) and all things computer are hidden and out of reach.

We are hoping to sell the bookcases on Craig's List and the desk will go back into the attic of Chris's parents' house.  We've rearranged the other components (picture frame, wooden box, books, baskets, etc.) that were once in the office and found homes for them in other places in our house.

Before

After

Friday.

I'm so happy it's Friday because I get my husband all weekend, but knowing I have to cook dinner tonight makes me a little less excited because, well, it's Friday.  I'm not feeling very creative and want to do the minimum to feed mouths tonight.

See what I mean?

Step1: Color

We are changing things up a bit around here to transition the office into a playroom.  Seeing as we are budget keepers (4 weeks down!  This is a record for us!), we are trying to pull the funds out of our weekly allowance and from our "new baby" budget, which is not large by any means.  But it's still fun to save up, wait til we've got the mullah, then spend it.  Today we bought paint.  Meet Mac.

(Grand Hotel Mackinac Blue--Valspar)

Why are paint color names so poetic and long?

Project 70.

10 more weeks of Vera being an only child.  That's 70 days (give or take).  Hence the name, Project 70.

I stole a couple of ideas from people and started a little project.  Every day I'm writing a little note to my bug about what we did together.  Days go by and looking back, sometimes it seems like we do the same old, same old every day.  But even in the midst of the mundane, there's magic.  And lots of blessings.  And cute memories that I want to remember.  Hopefully it will be something meaningful to her someday to get a glimpse into what her life looked like before her sister arrived into the world.

The Chronicles of Carey: January 21st

1995

I need some music to listen to and something fun to do.  I will play with my doll house.  I actually think it is too babyish, but I still think it is fun.

2002

I am dating both Trevor and Evan right now.  It's semi-serious with both, but weird having feelings for both of them.

2003

It's weird to think that I am actually of the age now to be in college.  The 18 years I lived at home sure went fast.  I seems like just yesterday that I was in elementary school or played volleyball in middle school or was in "Joseph" in high school.  Now I am a student at Purdue University and it's like I slid into this new life stage pretty quickly.

2004

Lord, I want to mention and lift up to You this guy named Chris Bonser.  If this is not Your plan, lead me away and I will follow.

2005

Last night I helped lead worship again and it went really well.  The Spirit was present!  I am so thankful for an outlet to sing.

2006

A week ago I had all four of my wisdom teeth taken out and I'm still not feeling great.  I haven't eaten anything solid yet..mostly eating peanut butter and oatmeal.  I miss using my teeth to chew.

2008

Chris will turn 28 tomorrow and how cool is it that we are in Thailand? We are planning to get a Thai massage, attend a cooking class at Bai Pai Cooking School, and have pizza and beer for dinner--his favorite thing.

Going Into the Closet

Our current office in our house is not working.  We've known for awhile now that we need to make some changes to make it more kid-friendly and less cable-accessible.  We would like to merge it into more of a playroom, but because Chris occasionally works from home, because I do non-cooking/paperwork/emailing work from home, and because we are computer-savvy people, we would still like to have a designated space as an office.  We've got a lot of books to store, too.  We actually don't have a ton of toys, but what we do have seems to be taking over the little room.  So we've begun brainstorming and have tossed around some ideas.  We are considering making the closet our office and using the rest of the room as a playroom, minus some floating shelves to store books.

What we like about this option is that we can close the door and make everything electronic and expensive inaccessible to little hands and curious minds.  However, the rest of the room would be free-reign.

Cooking on the Cheap

After your planned meals have been made and your leftovers eaten, what do you make for dinner?  I had thick sliced deli turkey, spinach, arugula, onion, feta, and Parmesan in my fridge.  And to make it easy, I thawed some phyllo and popped in a hodgepodge "pizza" into the oven for dinner.  Because that's what I do during nap times when I've got a 3 hour window to entertain myself and a whopping $5 left in our budget for the week.  Thankful my hubs is easily pleased.  Apples and oranges on the side.

P.S.  Have I mentioned that I've tossed around the idea of a blog called "Cooking on the Cheap" where the goal is to cook with a $5 budget in mind?  Not sacrificing quality, but embracing the challenge to create delicious, sometimes healthy, and affordable meals with pocket change.  The tag line would be something like..."professionally trained chef, domestically trying to stay in budget."

Predictable Days

I was thinking today how being a stay at home mom can be pretty isolating at times.  My daily routine revolves around Vera's schedule and this means that naturally we don't get out much.  Here's how my life looks every day:

7:30ish  Vera wakes up.  I roll out of bed, throw on a robe, and go into her room.  Diaper change, clothes change.

7:45ish  I put her in her high chair and get her set up with her cup of milk and breakfast; usually oatmeal, yogurt, and a banana.  Sometimes toast, eggs, or cooked apples.  Sometimes cereal.  Sometimes berries.

8:15ish  I've changed clothes and we are headed for the gym.  I drop her off at the day care and she plays for the hour to hour and half that I work out.  I am so thankful for this time.  I usually listen to a sermon podcast, sometimes music, or if nothing else, I watch the Ellen Show.  I pick her up and we go home.

10:00ish  Back home and I stick Vera in the bathroom with me as I take a shower.  She rummages through the bathroom cabinet underneath the sink and I pick up the combs, hair ties, make-up, and towels that she has gone through.  I dry off and get dressed as she plays in her room with books, toys, diapers, you name it.  Play time (walks in the backyard, wagon ride around the neighborhood, stories, toys, etc.).

11:30  Lunch.  I try to get her to eat as much as possible before her nap so she will sleep really well.

12:00  Diaper change and down for her nap.  (During this time, I usually prep dinner, clean, walk Marlow, and waste time on the Internet.)

3:00  I get her up and give her a snack.  I usually put music on at this point since I've been sitting in silence all day.  Playtime.

5:00  Dinner time for Vera.

6:00  Bath time, books.  Chris gets home.

6:30-9:30  Bed time for Vera.  Chris and I eat dinner, hang out, get in bed to read for a half hour.

10:00  Lights out.

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All this to say, I am certainly not complaining.  I am just realizing how little interaction I get with other humans throughout the day and often times I feel lonely and isolated from the world.  I have friends that don't live that far away, but because of our kids' conflicting nap schedules, work schedules, and whatnot, it is rare that we even see each other.

It's times like this when I miss my friend, Emily.  She's the chic who up and moved to Tahoe.  This was us at the end of our first pregnancies.

 

And here is us at 2010 Thanksgiving time holding our out-of-utero offspring and baking two other buns in our ovens.  She is a great friend and after having our 4-day-apart babies, we spent a lot of time on walks just to get outside because of our baby blues.

 

I know I'm not the only mom who feels isolated during the day, but sometimes I feel like it.

Just Because Cake

One of the ways my husband receives love is via food.  I know that sounds crazy, but after living with him for awhile now, I've come to realize that it's true.  He is so happy and thankful when dinner is ready when he gets home from work.  It could sound very 1950s, but there is no expectation for me to slave away in the kitchen all day.  He just appreciates that comfort of being able to sit down and eat together.  Lucky for him, I like to cook and bake in my spare time.  Today he came home for lunch and he told me that a "yellow cake with chocolate frosting" sounded good to him.  Of course to him, he thinks of a box cake mix because if he gets the hankering for that, he will occasionally go to the store to pick it up.  It's funny though because he is picky about his frostings and he has to make his own chocolate frosting from the norm:  butter, powdered sugar, vanilla, cocoa, and milk.  So after he went back to work today, I of course made him a cake because I had the time and because I love him.  But it was not from a cake mix, I assure you.  I feel like it's just as easy to whip up a from-scratch cake than it is to follow directions on a box.  But that's just me.  And I always have the ingredients in stock, so why not use them up?

This recipe was quick and I didn't even bother lugging the Kitchen Aid onto the counter.

Classic Buttery Yellow Cake  (adapted from "The America's Test Kitchen Family Baking Book")

1/2 c. milk (room temp)
4 eggs (room temp)
1 T. vanilla extract
1 3/4 c. flour
1 1/2 c. sugar
2 t. baking powder
3/4 t. salt
2 sticks butter, softened

Preheat oven to 350.  Grease a cake pan. I made it simple and used a 9x13.  Whisk together 'wet' ingredients in a small bowl. In a large bowl, whisk together 'dry' ingredients.  Beat the butter into the flour mixture until it resembles crumbs.  Beat in half of the milk mixture and combine well.  Add the remaining of the milk mixture and continue beating until light and fluffy, about 1 minute.  Scrape batter into pan, evening out.  Bake until a toothpick comes out clean, about 40 minutes (for a 9x13 pan).  Let cool.

Simple Chocolate Frosting  (using items you probably already have in your pantry)

1 stick of butter, softened
2 1/4 c. powdered sugar, sifted
about 1/4 c. milk (I used half and half because we are short on milk)
vanilla extract
3/4 c. cocoa

Thoroughly combine with an electric mixture until light and fluffy.

Storage and Organization

One year after building cabinets in the laundry room, we have finally primed and painted and are now awaiting a time to make doors.  Yep, my life is pretty exciting.

Um, I Don't Know

I haven't had many thoughts lately to share with my blog stalkers (ahem, Dad).  So I will go to my trusty little box of questions that I so love.

Q:  "If you could master one instrument which would it be?"
A:  Easy.  Piano.  I think knowing how to play the piano would be helpful for knowing how to play other instruments.  I wish I would have learned growing up.

Q for you:  Growing up, did your parents make you take some type of music lesson and did you appreciate it?  Would you suggest it for your kids?

And now I will go eat a piece of pumpkin pie.  Because it's 2:42 in the afternoon and my baby is sleeping and I've gotten my "to do" list done for the day.

That Wasn't Hard

I thought I'd count the number of items today that I had piled in the guest room to get rid of, thinking maybe I'd be about half way there.  I happened to be right at 100 items, if not a little over.  They include:

1 body pillow (came free with the purchase of our mattress 4 years ago and I've never really used it)
4 placemats
1 runner
12 linen napkins
1 plastic container
3 pieces of wall decor
8 black picture frames
1 umbrella
4 maps (Texas, Indiana, Indianapolis, Austin)
1 unopened pkg. of photo paper
2 postcards (that I never sent; 1 from St. Joe, Michigan and 1 from Bangkok)
1 watch
2 ziplock bags of old jewelry; earrings, pendants, necklaces, etc.
1 bag of buttons
13 red taper candles (that are not worth my time standing in the return line at Wal-Mart)
1 small decorative chair (that I had hopes of painting and using somewhere)
8 books
2 cleaning gloves
2 (cute) purses (that I don't need)
1 travel Scrabble (never used)
1 Cribbage set (never used)
1 car sunshield
1 duvet cover (that I'm attempting to sell)
2 matching shams
2 soap containers
1 ceramic toothbrush holder (slightly damaged, but usable)
3 porcelain heart-shaped ramekins
1 cozy
1 apron
6 pillow cases
2 guitar tuners (extras)
1 wine opener
7 pieces of clothing

Cleaning Out

I was inspired to get rid of 100 things that are in my house.  A pile has formed and looking at the items, I can say that it will not break my heart to part with any of them.  I'm not counting things that I would throw away.  I'm only counting items that I can give away.  It feels good to clean out.  When I've reached 100 items, I'll post a list, in case you're curious.

Some Goals for 2011

* Log the miles that I run
* Learn Photoshop
* Finish the laundry room
* Walk Marlow more often